So you moved to Paris. Maybe for work, maybe for love, maybe because you watched Emily in Paris one too many times and thought, why not. Whatever brought you here, you're probably realizing something pretty quickly: making friends in Paris is way harder than the movies made it look.
Don't worry. You're not alone in this, and there's nothing wrong with you. Paris has its own social code, and once you crack it, the city opens up in ways you couldn't have imagined.
This guide is for anyone googling "how to make friends in Paris" at 11pm on a Tuesday wondering if they should just move back home. Let's get into it.
Let's be honest before we get to the tips. Paris is not a friendly city in the American sense. People don't smile at strangers on the metro. They don't strike up conversations in line at the boulangerie. If you say "bonjour" too enthusiastically, you might get a polite nod and that's it.
This isn't because Parisians are mean. It's because the social culture here values privacy, formality, and earned trust. Friendships take time to build, but once you have them, they tend to be deep and lasting. Most Parisians made their close friends in school or university, and their social circles are already full. Breaking into those circles requires patience and consistency.
For foreigners, there are a few specific challenges that pile on top:
The language barrier is real, even if you speak decent French. People will switch to English the second they hear an accent, which is helpful but also kind of isolating. You feel like you're being put in the "foreigner" box.
The city is geographically segmented. Someone who lives in the 18th arrondissement might never hang out with someone in the 13th, even though they're a 25-minute metro ride apart. Distance matters here in a way that surprises a lot of newcomers.
Apartments are tiny. Nobody hosts dinner parties at home in the same way they might in other countries. Most socializing happens in cafés, bars, and parks, which means you need to be willing to spend money or time outside.
And finally, the weather. Paris winters are gray and long. From November to March, it can feel like the whole city is hibernating, and that makes putting yourself out there even harder.
Okay, enough doom and gloom. Let's talk about what actually works.
This is the single most important thing you can do in Paris. Pick a café, a wine bar, a bookstore, a yoga studio, anywhere you can show up at least twice a week, and just keep showing up.
Parisians warm up to faces they recognize. The first time you walk in, you're a tourist. The fifth time, you're a customer. The fifteenth time, the bartender knows your order and asks how your week was. By the thirtieth time, you're getting invited to the after-hours staff drinks.
Some great places to become a regular if you're new:
The trick is consistency. Going to ten different bars once each will get you nowhere. Going to one bar ten times will change your life.
This builds on the previous point but with structure. Weekly activities create what sociologists call "repeated unplanned interactions," which is basically the foundation of every adult friendship that's ever existed.
Some specific things that work well in Paris:
Run clubs are huge right now. The Paris Run Club meets in different spots every week and is full of internationals. Adidas Runners Paris does free group runs from Pigalle. There's also Midnight Runners Paris if you want to add beer and a louder vibe to your fitness.
Language exchanges are a classic for a reason. Look up Franglish events, which happen in bars across the city and pair you with French speakers wanting to practice English. The format is structured enough that the awkwardness is removed, and people genuinely want to make friends, not just practice grammar.
Sports clubs. Paris has tons of recreational leagues for basketball, volleyball, football, and even ultimate frisbee. Check out Paris University Club even if you're not a student, or look for pickup games at Quai de la Loire along Canal de l'Ourcq in summer.
Pottery, painting, and craft classes. Studios in the 11th and 20th arrondissements run weekly drop-in classes. La Manufacture does pottery, and Le Tigre Yoga Club has multiple locations if movement is more your thing. The shared activity gives you something to talk about that isn't your name and where you're from.
Book clubs at expat bookstores. Beyond Shakespeare and Company, The Red Wheelbarrow in the 6th and Berkeley Books of Paris also host regular clubs in English. If you read French, Librairie L'Atelier in the 20th has community vibes.
This is a Paris-specific tip and it's underrated. Apéro is the early evening hour, roughly 6 to 8pm, when people grab a drink and a snack before dinner. It's lower pressure than a full dinner invite, cheaper, and it's deeply embedded in French social life.
If someone says "on prend un verre?" (let's grab a drink), say yes. Always. Even if you're tired.
Great apéro spots that attract a mixed local-foreigner crowd:
If you want a more structured apéro, many neighborhood associations and coworking spaces host weekly mixers. Anticafé locations and WeWork members often have free Thursday night drinks. Hubsy in the 3rd is another good one.
Old advice was to join Meetup. That still works, sort of, but the scene has evolved.
Facebook groups are surprisingly active in Paris. Search for things like "Expats in Paris," "Anglos in Paris," "Girls Gone International Paris," and any neighborhood-specific groups (like "Vivre dans le 11Ăšme"). Lurk for a week, then post something low stakes like "anyone want to check out the new exhibition at Bourse de Commerce this Saturday?" You'll be shocked how many people respond.
Reddit's r/paris and r/expats subreddits have meetup threads. The vibe is more anonymous but it works.
Instagram is increasingly where Paris social life happens. Follow neighborhood accounts, event venues, and creators in your interest area. DM people. It's not weird here. The line between online and offline is much blurrier than it was even two years ago.
Discord servers for hobbies have also taken off. Whether you're into board games, climbing, language learning, or generative AI, there's almost certainly a Paris-based Discord with weekly meetups attached.
Some Paris neighborhoods are way more welcoming to newcomers than others. If you're really struggling, consider spending more time (or moving to) one of these:
The 11th arrondissement (Oberkampf, Bastille, Charonne) is probably the friendliest area for young internationals right now. The bars are loud, the cafés are open late, and there's a constant flow of newcomers.
The 10th (Canal Saint-Martin, Strasbourg-Saint-Denis) has a similar vibe, with more of a creative and music scene.
The 18th (Montmartre, but especially the lower part near Pigalle and Abbesses) attracts artists, freelancers, and people who want a more village-like feel.
The 19th and 20th (Belleville, MĂ©nilmontant, Buttes-Chaumont) are more diverse, more affordable, and more welcoming to people who don't fit neatly into one cultural box. Belleville especially is full of pop-up events, artist studios, and shared kitchens.
By contrast, the 7th, 8th, and 16th are beautiful but socially closed. If you live there and want to make friends, you'll probably need to do most of your socializing in other neighborhoods.
Learn to do the bisous (cheek kisses) without panicking. Two kisses, starting on the right cheek (their right, your left). Don't actually kiss, just press cheeks. Once you stop overthinking it, it becomes second nature.
Don't ask "what do you do?" as your first question. It comes off very American and Parisians often find it abrupt. Ask about the neighborhood, the bar, what they're drinking, what they did this weekend. Work comes up later, naturally.
Be okay with weird hours. Paris dinner is at 8 or 9pm. Drinks go until 2am. If you're trying to make friends on a 7pm-to-bed schedule, you're going to miss most of the social action.
Don't take cancellations personally. Parisians cancel last minute all the time. It's not about you. Just propose another time and move on.
Show up to things alone. This is the hardest one for a lot of people but it's the most important. Going to events with a friend feels safer but it also creates a bubble that other people don't want to interrupt. Going alone forces you to talk to strangers, and strangers are way more likely to invite you into their group when you're solo.
You will hit a wall. Probably around month three. You'll have done all the things, met a bunch of people, and still feel lonely. This is normal and it doesn't mean you're failing.
When this happens:
Take a break from forcing it. Spend a weekend doing something you genuinely love alone. Read at the Tuileries. Walk along the Seine. Buy a ridiculous pastry. Reset.
Then go back at it with one specific goal: make one new friend this month. Not five. One. That's actually achievable.
Lower the bar for what counts as a friend. Someone you grab coffee with twice a month is a friend. Someone you text memes to is a friend. The deep ride-or-die friendships will come, but it takes years, and the casual friendships in the meantime are what keep you sane.
One thing that's genuinely changed the game for making friends in cities like Paris in the last couple of years is map-based social apps. Instead of swiping through endless profiles or hoping someone responds to your group chat post, you can actually see who's nearby and open to meeting up right now.
Make Japanese Friends On a Live World Map
SewaYou is a map-based friendship app where you can find people nearby in Paris or anywhere in the world. It works really well in dense walkable cities like Paris because you can spot someone in the same arrondissement, the same café, even the same park, and just say hi. No algorithm guessing what you might like, no waiting days for a reply. Just real people in real places near you. Worth trying if you've been struggling to convert online connections into actual hangouts.
How long does it take to make real friends in Paris?
Be realistic: making close friends in Paris usually takes 6 to 18 months of consistent effort. You'll probably have casual friends and acquaintances within the first 2 to 3 months, but the deeper bonds take longer because Parisians are slow to fully open up. Don't get discouraged at the 3-month mark when it still feels superficial. That's the normal part of the curve.
Do I need to speak French to make friends in Paris?
Not really, especially in central Paris and in the 10th, 11th, 18th, and 19th arrondissements. Plenty of locals speak English, and the international community is huge. That said, even basic French (bonjour, merci, the ability to order in a restaurant) goes a long way in showing respect and willingness to integrate. People notice the effort and respond warmly to it.
Is it harder to make friends in Paris if you're over 30?
It's a different challenge, not necessarily a harder one. Younger people tend to be more open and have more flexible schedules, but people over 30 in Paris are often actively looking for new social circles too, especially if they've recently gone through life changes (divorce, kids growing up, career shifts, moving from another city). Look for activities tied to specific interests rather than nightlife: wine tastings, hiking groups, professional networks, parent groups if applicable. The friendships you make tend to be more stable and intentional.
What if I'm an introvert and the bar scene isn't for me?
You don't have to do bars at all. Paris has tons of low-stimulation ways to meet people: book clubs, museum tours, cooking classes at places like Cook'n with Class in the 18th, board game cafés like JAW Café or Le Refuge des Fondus, library events at the BPI at Centre Pompidou, and slow community-building activities like community gardens (there are loads in the 19th and 20th). Pick the format that matches your energy. Forcing yourself into the loud apéro scene when you hate it will just burn you out.
Making friends in Paris is a slow burn, but it's worth it. The city rewards patience, consistency, and a willingness to put yourself out there even when it feels uncomfortable. Show up, keep showing up, and one day you'll realize you have a whole life here. Bonne chance.
